Matters of Opinion

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A listener called me on some sh*t I said...and the listener was right.
Marking the end of a life as it does, the occasion of an obituary is inherently unfortunate. And yet there's a lot to learn from an obit: snippets of forgotten history, facts unbeknownst to us in our youth, not to mention courage gleaned from a well-lived life.
Have a potty mouth? Good for you. Cursing has been scientifically proven to improve strength, endurance, people's trust in us, and our ability to communicate. And that's from the f*cking New York Times!
Old friends coming for a summer visit? Good luck. They materialize at the sound of your voice, they want to chat at breakfast, they remember you as the person you were at seventeen, and worst of all, they expect you to be on vacation, too.
Time is short and so are our attention spans. Since people aren't listening to each other, let's just give them a list when we have something to say: more bullet points, less bull shit.
Be careful out there. The Fourth of July is not for amateurs. Drink plenty of fluids, remember your suntan lotion, wear a hat, and don’t get into political arguments with drunks. Remember, you can love your country without acting like a frat boy.
Happy for the newlyweds but tired of weddings? Here's a plan guaranteed to please everyone.
Tourists drive you nuts? The major question is this.
Wondering where the worms have gone? Nervous about the temperature? Annoyed at neighbors who make snide comments about the smell? Ordering expensive enzymes on the internet? Give it up. Composting is as easy as...digging a hole and throwing stuff in.